I’ve been making it a serious priority to start living in” today.” That was something my body and food obsession totally stole from me. I was never present. I was always in “tomorrow.”
Tomorrow I will weigh less.
Tomorrow I will eat better(which also means I might skip meals).
Tomorrow I will do an extra half hour of cardio to make up for the meal I had today.
Tomorrow I will feel better about my body.
Tomorrow I will be able to accept and love myself more.
What the heck happened to today?!
Today, I screwed it up.
Today, I did not hit the right number on the scale.
Today, I noticed my belly looking more bloated.
Today, I ate that bag of chips.
Today, I am still me.
Everything I did “today” was all in preparation for “tomorrow.” I literally lived my life in “tomorrow.”
The problem with making tomorrow your final destination is that you never actually arrive there. It is always one more day away. You are just living like a hamster on a hamster wheel, running nowhere, believing if you just work a little bit harder, you will arrive.
Spending my time in tomorrow-land kept me feeling safe. It kept me feeling in control. It kept me from being over-run with too many emotions about how I “performed” in my “today.”
The “I’ll be better tomorrow” mentality starts off as an encouraging thought. There is hope in it. However, it quickly turns rancid when you look deeper into it’s meaning. What you are really saying is, “Today, I am not good enough.”
A diet puts our thinking into boxes and categories. Good vs. bad, healthy vs. un-healthy, trigger food vs. not trigger food. This will make me fat vs. this will not make me fat.
No wonder we are all so darn tired trying to navigate a healthy relationship with food and our bodies!
Such an important factor in really living in a “food-freedom” life is holding tight to this truth:
A healthy relationship with food is not a perfect relationship with food.
Those days you eat the ice cream, you binge on the crackers, you enjoy the burger with (Gasp!) the bun are not failures nor are they flawed.
You are not flawed because of what you eat.
You are a human being on journey to enjoy food without shame or guilt or bondage. To eat with empowerment and feel at home in your body instead of as if being held hostage by it.
Forget about the self-judgement. Get away from good days and bad days. Good food and bad food. Good acts equal worthiness.
Your choices are not something you should have to defend to yourself. They are something you must honor. Whether you eat Oreo’s or salad for dinner does not make you any better of a person. It does not define a bad day vs. a good one.
Your relationship with yourself; how you love, cherish, embrace, forgive, respect and honor you at the end of the day, that is your way of measuring your today.
When you can take the steps to be a caregiver to yourself instead of a dictator, you will have so much love in place for yourself, you will not need a single more tomorrow.
Today already rules!